I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
