Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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