Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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