There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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