giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
