in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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