I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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