$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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