Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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