Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
