Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
