everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
