I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
