It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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