he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
