your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
