i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
