Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
