why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize