Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
