i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
