honey bunches of taint.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
