a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
