Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
