My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
