just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
