I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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