There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
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Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
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I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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