there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
did i just pee glitter
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
