she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
