you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
