fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
