It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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