ADVERTISEMENT

• (910): View more from North Carolina

  that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.

  Fav 11 1071 3859

  share tweet
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.

  Fav 26 4715 1014

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (308): View more from Nebraska

  Best friends brother. Beat that.

  Fav 91 6640 1763

  share tweet
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.

  Fav 23 2047 5123

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him

  Fav 7 4798 1296

  share tweet
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  should my penis look like a turkey

  Fav 18 1153 5593

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (315): View more from New York

  can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...

  Fav 7 896 4426

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.

  Fav 10 5126 1220

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.

  Fav 7 2056 778

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm a sociology major remember

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Well that and comm

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Basically you majored in how to get laid

  Fav 2 1579 674

  share tweet
  

• (623): View more from Arizona

  Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.

  Fav 2 1020 632

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (425): View more from Washington

  Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie

  Fav 2 731 424

  share tweet
  

• (260): View more from Indiana

  As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home

  Fav 8 1141 416

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!

  Fav 6 1196 459

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (614): View more from Ohio

  THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.

  Fav 0 494 163

  share tweet
  

Randomize