Texts From Last Night

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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building

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  (262): remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building http://tfl.nu/3ctj
  Replies (2) Good night (3511) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.

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  (651): The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count. http://tfl.nu/0nix
  Replies (34) Good night (640) Bad night (4269) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.

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  (651): glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic. http://tfl.nu/f4h9
  Replies (22) Good night (5577) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.

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  (817): maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me. http://tfl.nu/m7oc
  Replies (14) Good night (4856) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet

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  (339): i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet http://tfl.nu/r3gc
  Replies (29) Good night (9746) Bad night (1384) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.

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  (440): i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky. http://tfl.nu/4mz4
  Replies (263) Good night (2480) Bad night (27205) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up

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  (905): She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up http://tfl.nu/duhi
  Replies (25) Good night (4009) Bad night (1003) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king

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  (650): dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king http://tfl.nu/ix08
  Replies (12) Good night (5323) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.

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  (604): He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face. http://tfl.nu/1cal
  Replies (11) Good night (2729) Bad night (1169) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls

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  (716): i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls http://tfl.nu/crru
  Replies (8) Good night (2135) Bad night (1034) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.

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  (503): Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here. http://tfl.nu/gxsg
  Replies (6) Good night (1127) Bad night (299) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee

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  (770): How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night? (678): 4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee http://tfl.nu/1zan
  Replies (7) Good night (998) Bad night (271)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.

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  (256): Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool. http://tfl.nu/26ob
  Replies (4) Good night (146) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.

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  (774): One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it. http://tfl.nu/38tv
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (156) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.

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  (816): Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on. http://tfl.nu/u2o1
  Replies (13) Good night (1724) Bad night (306) Order T-Shirt

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