I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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