I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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