I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.