thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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