Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
