My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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