TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
you never un-have a 4some
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize