I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
