best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
