My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
