i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize