I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
