He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
