Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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