I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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