franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
