Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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