I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
