well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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