Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
