I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
