At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i think my cat just said my name.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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