using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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