There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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