I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You were trust falling into bushes
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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