office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
