He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
