I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i barfeds in our rink
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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