I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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