those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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